


Konata

by Filthdragon (Wayward_Dragon)



Category: Lucky Star (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Autism Spectrum, Fandom Culture, Hypersexuality, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Other, POV Second Person, emotional incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 18:09:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17085206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayward_Dragon/pseuds/Filthdragon
Summary: Snippets of Konata's life, past till series start.





	Konata

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old oneshot I dug out of my google docs, warning for this being sad and terrible and filled with troublingly unchildlike behavior.

You were held back a year in grade school because you did so bad with your language and writing classes you couldn’t do the rest of the work. You knew every fact and facet about the Sailor Moon franchise but couldn’t remember any of your times-tables. You didn’t remember a lot of things.

You couldn’t sit still either, you bounced your foot and chewed on the ends of your pencils and waved your hands about until you got punished by teachers.

And people never made sense and avoided you because you didn’t understand how they worked and it took too much effort to try to follow their rules.

You father buys you the next manga in the Sailor Moon series and tells you you are cute and lovely and that your mother would be proud of you even if you got detention again for wincing at the texture of felt and refusing to do the art project or didn’t do any of the science homework because even though you wanted to do it, you just _couldn’t_.

 

You are seven and a half when you ask about your mother.

You take to trying to exercise often. You don’t want to get sick like your mother did- from the possible death lurking in your blood.

You end up one of the best athletes in the school- in terms of ability. You can’t play an actual sports game to save your life, however(you’d miss the anime block on tv, anyway).

You tried to eat healthier but you can’t. You continue to eat the same floridly unhealthy breakfast and lunch every day as you always have.

 

You are nine when your father has you watch him play 18+ games on the downstairs tv. He pats your head and asks you which of the girls you want to see the ending for. You don’t want to see any of them but your dad is happier when you geek out with him. You pick the shy one that stutters.

He takes to drinking soon and calls you pretty and that you look like your mother.

( _Sometimes he offers you the bitter tasting stuff fun people drink in the animes you like and you don’t remember anything at all_ )

( _Father compliments you more when he’s drunk and they feel less like lies_ )

 

You are 11 when you start spending most of your time on the internet. You aren’t academically gifted and aren’t a social butterfly either, so you take to playing games. First you play the free adoptable games and puzzle games you don’t download anything for. Then you graduate to the rpgs, and finally to mmos.

It’s here you find you do best. You can make _friends_ . _(And these friends don’t care how you mix up words and make new ones and can’t make eye contact and don’t have the right tone and never do well in school -They care that you have crystalline knowledge of every enemy in the game and are level 57_ )

 

You are 14 when you get your own console in your room. Your father winks and gives you a few copies of the latest m-rated dating sims ( _You play them one by one and cannot stop replaying them -you parrot the lines quietly as they appear on the screen_ ). Try as you might to feel tingly feelings for the boys ( _oh, how you try_ ) you just stare that the pixely dude in a speedo and feel nothing ( _maybe a little something when the scene shifts to the guy fucking his girlfriend in the shower_ ).

 

You are sixteen and puberty hasnt done _jackshit_ for you. You are still flatchested and short. You are still uncurvy. Your periods come sporadically and painfully if at all. You are pretty sure this isn’t how it’s supposed to go, but your doctor you have had for years just smiles condescendingly and ignores your questions. You think about sex _all the time_ . That is all it’s done, and even _that_ you did for longer than just the last few years. You don’t -really- want it for yourself though.

You read all kinds of articles online about sex tips and kinky bizzare fetishes to write your 2k smutfic. It gets 100 faves and you feel proud.

( _You have worth when you live here in the fannish culture. They like you._ )

 

You are 17 and you somehow have friends. In real life. You don’t know how it happened and neither do they. But you stick around each other irregardless( _some of them like things you like and you can talk! About! The Stuff!_ ).

And now your sex drive kicks in with a vengeance and by god is it making life difficult( _you thought having your thoughts always trailing back to sex was bad- now you can’t sleep unless you get off and get way too turned on about way too many things- the eroge games even do something for you now_ ).

Bisexual is a nice word. You are taking it and shoving it in the same mental closet as all the rest of your insecurities and secrets.

The wait till you are 18 is long and you grit your teeth all the way.

 

The day you turn 18 is the day you go out and buy so many porn games and apply to work at a cosplay cafe. They hire you because you look like a child, which is a ‘niche interest’( _you will take all the sexual attention you can get_ ). You think you look cute in your cosplay for the week ( _you get off twice in one day while wearing it because you are terrible_ ).

Sometimes you share things about yourself with your friends and they give you a look like they think you are joking ( _but you aren’t_ ). Sometimes you share things about yourself with your friends and they look at you with concern, horror, and pity( _you don’t understand why and you try to avoid talking about yourself from then on_ ).

 

Sometimes you wonder how old you’ll even get.


End file.
